


The Darkness

by demdrabstho (isalana)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Post Game, Sadness, horrible heartbreak, suicide TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4534935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isalana/pseuds/demdrabstho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A post game one shot. Lavellan is suffering with severe depression from the war and the heartbreak and seems like it's just an endless loop of sadness. So she does the unthinkable and meets with Solas in Fade, can he help her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkness

The Inquisitor. The, supposedly, strongest woman in  Thedas , along side the Hero of  Feralden  and the Champion of Kirkwall. She of all people brought down by stupid fling... But was it a fling? No he said. "What we had was real." It was real. It was love.

If he loved her, why did he leave her? Leave her pacing in front of her bed to a point of exhaustion, just so she can sleep and hope to see his face or hear his voice. Leaving her pulling out her hair and crying herself to sleep. Leave her screaming into her pillow about how she hates the Creators for giving her something so special and then taking it away.

She thought she would of liked to give her life to someone she actually wanted not something that was forced onto her and called 'responsibility'. She would do anything for him, and he leaves her lost and hopeless.

All she can think about is the way he would look at her with those piercing  blue eyes. They could tear you to shreds but she saw through it. The hurt that laid behind the shell. She brought it up to him once and he completely avoided the topic telling her that "the past is the past and let's leave it at that." She wouldn't call  Solas  an idiot, apart from this situation. He should of known that he couldn't keep himself hidden for so long.

She knew there was something completely different about  Solas . Though she couldn't put her finger on it... She enjoyed thinking about him. To remind herself how he looks or what he was like. It has been too long, a few years at least. 

She has to pretend that she is okay, when she is clearly not. Josephine was the first to properly notice and ask about the recently removed  vallaslin . When bringing up  Solas , Josephine was very much sorry and comforting.

When she  didn't leave my quarters for a week,  Leliana  came to her. Telling her about how they will find  Solas . Giving her hope, false or not, she  didn't care.  Leliana  comforted her and gave her a pair of shoes, told her, " that a pair of new shoes always helped." She had worn them no more than twice. But truth be told they were pretty to look at.

Cullen came to her, asking her to give him something to help her with. Just so he can help. It was a sweet gesture but there was no way he could help. No one could. No, that was a lie,  Solas  could. 

Solas ... Why would did he leave her? She ponders everyday. The thought forever lying in the back of her mind.  Solas , come back.

She visits the  herbologist  asking for concoctions to help her sleep. She picks up a new set each week. She is saving them for the day she wishes to sleep forever. Go into the long slumber of her people.

This night is the worst. The thoughts they ruin her inside. The trauma of war and the destruction of heartbreak has become too much. She cried into her pillow for the last time. She picks up the bottles of sleeping potion. Chugs all of them and lays upon her soft bed waiting for sleep to take her.

She falls. She falls right into the Fade. She screams for him, she knows she doesn't have much time. She screams that she is sorry, for everything. For the love she gave. For the pain this will put him through. But she cannot live any more with out the support of her friends, who grew tired of her shit, and with out the support of him.

She lays on the floor of the Fade and watches it begin to go dark. Is this what death was? The subtle darkness taking over the mind? An endless darkness. An endless peace.

" Lavellan ..."

The light returns, " Solas ?" She feels him around her. She feels his warmth and his love. She begins to cry, "another dream to torment me before I die?"

"No, please, come to me."

She shakes her head. "NO!" She wipes the tears from her eyes, she sits to her knees. "You're not real."

" Vhenan , please, don't leave me."

"BUT YOU LEFT ME! LEFT ME TO..." To what? A life with out him? A life full of tears and terrible thoughts? This is what she has ended up with. At the end of her life she was left with nothing but the hole in her heart.

"I know," his warmth was closer, she refused to look at him, "I know I did, but please wake up, for me. Please. I need you more than you know."

She glanced towards him, she frowned, "you are not the  Solas  I remember."

"I have changed in appearance only, I promise you. But you must promise me something.."  Solas  held her hand and pulled her up to him. She studied his appearance. He had hair, dreadlocks no less, and his outfit was so... ancient? She didn't know how to take his appearance.

"What is it  Solas ?" 

"Never leave me like this again, I'm coming back, but you might not like what you find out about me."

She felt herself fall into his chest. A relieved sigh came from  Solas . "Your name isn't  Solas , right?"

Solas  must have been taken back by the accusation but relaxed almost immediately. "Yes, you're right."

She nodded, she knew, from the start. "What is it then?"

He stood silently. She wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about telling another fake name or was he just scared.

" Fen'Harel ."

It was her turn to be taken back. "F- Fen'Harel ... You're joking right?"

He shook his head and released her. "No."

The darkness began to consume her again, " Solas !" She was scared and wanted him to hold her again. "Wake me please."

He turned his back on her, "you have made your choice."

He began to walk away. She began to scream out his name. Begging him to come back, to help her. All she wanted was him to visit just once. And this wouldn't of happened. " Fen'Harel !" She said it, she said his real name.

Solas  stopped and looked back hopelessly, with a tear slowly moving down his face, " ir abelas , ma  vhenan ." And disappeared into the Fade.

She was alone as the darkness began to take her. She huddled into a ball. A flame was still alive inside of her. She wondered if she should let the darkness  consume her or she should fight it and kick Sola - -  Fen'Harel  right in the ass. She enjoyed that image, kicking an Elven god in the ass.

But the tired eyes of her  friends and that none of them had the energy to help her. The will to do anything. Just the look of hopelessness and annoyance. How could anyone love her? 

She laid down once more and let the darkness consume her. Now she will sleep the longest sleep.


End file.
